May 06, 2008
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Road conditions across New York's southern tier
The Southern Tier "is a geographical term that refers to the counties of New York State west of the Catskill Mountains along the northern border of Pennsylvania."
It's been a while since I've traveled across the southern tier and nnnow I remember wwhy - the roads are in terrible condition with bone jarring pavement breaks and potholes galore. Let's see how long I can remember this time not to choose this route again. I'm getting tttired of ccclosing dddrawers and pppicking stuff off the fffloor and rrrighting stuff in the cccabinetsss.
Night camp:
Wal-Mart parking lot, Painted Post, New York
When Hope Dies
When you give up on hope, something even better happens than it not killing you, which is that in some sense it does kill you. You die. And there's a wonderful thing about being dead, which is that they—those in power—cannot really touch you anymore. Not through promises, not through threats, not through violence itself. Once you're dead in this way, you can still sing, you can still dance, you can still make love, you can still fight like hell—you can still live because you are still alive, more alive in fact than ever before. You come to realize that when hope died, the you who died with the hope was not you, but was the you who depended on those who exploit you, the you who believed that those who exploit you will somehow stop on their own, the you who believed in the mythologies propagated by those who exploit you in order to facilitate that exploitation. The socially constructed you died. The civilized you died. The manufactured, fabricated, stamped, molded you died. The victim died.
And who is left when that you dies? You are left. Animal you. Naked you. Vulnerable (and invulnerable) you. Mortal you. Survivor you. The you who thinks not what the culture taught you to think but what you think. The you who feels not what the culture taught you to feel but what you feel. The you who is not who the culture taught you to be but who you are. The you who can say yes, the you who can say no.